Hope your 2020 started out great. For one, we are alive and that is something to be thankful for.
I have been mute for the last month or so. Probably trying to reconstruct or simply, map out (in my head) the direction this blog will take in 2020. I would not exactly call it a writer’s block because writing has been happening all the while.
Let me confess that I, many a times suffer from a ‘perfectionism tendency,’ a self criticism prompted by endless writing, editing and rewriting of articles out of the feeling that they are not good enough. Due to this, I end up with a bunch of articles saved and not shared. Writers, do you ever encounter this?
One of my greatest accomplishments of 2019 was to finally get my book, ‘A Heart in Ruins’ published. I literally crushed the FEAR that crippled me for years; what would happen if I put my poetry work out there? Thank you to all of you that have grabbed copies and shared photos and videos of recitals. You are an inspiration to yet another one of those that will be published sometime this year. Thank you, Thank you. God Bless You.
The month of January is a heavy one for me. 10th January 2020 marks exactly 2 years since my beloved sister Kiki left us unexpectedly, a loss I am slowly and surely recovering from. A week or so before that fateful day, I lost my closest friend and confidante, Kagendo Murungi. It is the same month a day later in 2019 that I lost my step brother Mwandishi. May their souls continue resting in peace.
Grief is a journey we all have to undergo. What I am learning from it is to take it each day at a time. The pain, denial, anger, questions and regrets cannot be escaped, or ignored. No amount of self destruction including alcohol, drugs, self-cutting will help you deal with the loss of a loved one.
Grief is the sincerest expression of love towards a departed soul. No healing can be experienced without going through that mud. I temporarily slip in and out of depression. I do not fight those feelings but live through them. That is okay. I am always careful to be kind and gentle with myself. I am still seeking healing, the hard way, my way.
Your grieving ways will be criticized, you will be told what to do and what not to do when grieving. Be wise in deciding what works or will not work for you during that time.
Aside from that, this year is going to be a wonderful one. I look forward to the upcoming trips, book fairs, writing more, reading exciting books, invest more, make new friends and other unexpected experiences along the way.
I would like to take this opportunity for supporting me, by way of following, subscribing, reading, liking, commenting on my posts and sharing this blog to your friends and connections. Stay on and let us enjoy 2020 together.
I wish you all the best in your careers, businesses, side hustles, engagements, marriages, families and new endeavors. May we find the peace, love and happiness that we continually seek, make a positive difference in people’s lives, hash out all negativity and remain grateful. May your health be at it’s best, may your relationships flourish, may you find love, may you smile often and may you never lack.
Happy New Year. Love you All.