There are a variety of reasons why the word ‘Divorce’ would come up at some point in any marriage, most that center around communication, boredom, abuse and immorality, to mention just but a few. Identifying such behaviors in a partner definitely rings all the wrong bells and significant others begin bracing themselves for the worst, of course after a period of denial, in the encouraging prospect that some change may be in the offing.
Here are a few tips you should ponder over before pushing for a divorce:
- Think through your decision
Have you sufficiently established that Divorce is the best solution? Depending on how you relate to your spouse, weigh the option of talking through the issues with them. Give this process time to reduce the chances of making an angry decision you will later regret. Where possible, book an appointment to see a marriage counsellor who will better help you to look at things issues from a different perspective.
- It swings both ways. Be prepared
Divorce can be a lengthy process spinning into months and years, which will ultimately drain you financially, emotionally in acquiring an excellent lawyer that will require remuneration for service and the expositions of painful past incidents that will take you down a memory lane that leaves you frustrated and to some extent depressed. Worse still, should your spouse object to the divorce then they will make life a true hell for you, something that is bound to take a huge toll on your health in general. Consider seeing a divorce therapist so you are set to cope with whichever route your divorce process takes.
- Know and understand the law
This is in regards to divorce as different laws apply for different territories for example, in some countries, one can file for divorce under the pretext of irreconcilable differences. In others, the same would not be permissible. Consult your attorney and be as honest as you can so they can help you build up a strong case to grant your request in a court of law. Your attorney is better placed to advice you on how to proceed with the case but do not ride on that fact to remain ignorant. Arm yourself by making time to comprehensively read through your countries’ divorce law.
- Be open minded to negotiate terms
A huge part of the process requires financial preparation that eventually culminates into splitting ‘once-shared’ incomes and property. Not forgetting the strain put on the family unit do not turn a deaf ear to amicably annul your marriage in a manner that will enable respectable engagements in the future where matters such as spouse and child support are concerned. This would mostly be the case if one of you is granted sole custody of the children. Leave the decision of the parent lie with your child after they attain the legally accepted age. Do not influence them nor throw a fit or threaten to denounce them should they opt to be with your spouse instead. It is in the best interest of your child.
- Life after divorce
Possibilities that happiness may begin or end after your divorce are certainly rife. The journey to recovery after the pains of a divorce can be treacherous one. Financially, you may be too strained to live comfortably or even afford the basic necessities and be left at the mercies of a revengeful estranged spouse. Watch out for if it gets to the extremes you will be lured into endless addictions such as drugs which will do nothing but give you temporary highs in exchange for a reduced life span and ill health. Have a support network such as family, a counselor to talk to for guidance and do not forget to always try and make the best out of every situation by avoiding any form of negativity from shrouding your thinking. There is light at the end of each tunnel so keep your eyes open.